So I’m in the market for a new set of notebooks. I’m finally on my last blue Moleskine and need a new notebook. You guys know that I’m a junkie when it comes to this stuff. So I’m thinking about sticking with Moleskine, unless someone has a notebook to try and persuade me to change my ways.

So please….

Point me to my new notebook

Certificate of Authenticity 1, originally uploaded by TheGrossUncle.

I’m just thinking out loud here, but yesterday we were having a conversation in the offices at Brookwood about how can we truly measure authenticity?

In this age of completely skeptical consumers, could authenticity become the next term that is well…not authentic?

I don’t think the authenticity part is incorrect to have as a part of your life, but authenticity must become a part of character rather than a strategy of communication.

What do you think? Is communicating authenticity becoming inauthentic?

So I’m a little bit of a marketing geek. It’s actually something that I am very, very, very passionate about. Can you tell yet? Anyways, I am always ok with giving people resources to help improve their brand.

So I am here to point out this resource to you. Matchstic is a Brand Identity House. They help your brand strengthen, align, and maybe for the first time identify your unique brand. I have never worked with Matchstic, but I have read their blog and seen their work on numerous occasions from afar. They are legit in the advice that they give to companies and they are an incredible resource for you and your brand as a Children’s Ministry, College Ministry, Church, or business. Not to mention the fact that some of their work looks Omazing!!

So if you don’t even get what brand means, or are looking for some guidance on some small ways to strengthen your brand. Check them out at their homepage or their blog. You won’t be disappointed.

This is in no way a sponsored post. Matchstic just rocks imo

G-joker, originally uploaded by CRISTO-.

This is a series that I began a few weeks ago. You can see my post about the Riddler here.

So again apply the general rules to this as well.

You Control the Room

Relationship is key

Know your timing

Characteristics of The Joker

Likes to roam, can’t stand still, loves attention are a few of the characteristics. The one thing that this kid does impeccably well is be a distraction to the other kids.(sounds very similar to your large group leader I would assume too :p) Understand that tension, not the problem, as Andy Stanley said this week at the Global Leadership Summit. That you must balance giving kids the freedom to engage in the conversation and teaching and also teaching the content. It’s not a one way or the other kind of thing.

So what are some ways to get this kid to stop being a distraction and become an engaged part of the teaching?

Specific strategies for The Joker

1. Get them to help

Whether they are passing out snacks, handouts, or helping with the game. Give them something to do. Allow them to become a part of the teaching rather than a receiver of the teaching.

2. Allow them to become an active illustration

I don’t remember where I saw this being done but I was completely impressed. A leader had some Jokers on his hands. He was teaching about Shad, Meese, and Abe and the furnace. So he called the Jokers up on stage to be the fiery furnace. He asked them to use their arms to be the flames and also explained how the King cranked that furnace up hotter than ever and the kids had to illustrate that as well with their hands and energy. It was a brilliant idea. Get your kids involved in what’s going on.

3. Change your style of teaching-

This is especially true if you have a lot of Jokers on your hands. It might be seating changes, it might be the schedule, it might be the amount of time, or it might be the material. If you have a ton of distractions on a consistent basis then it’s time to make a large group change. Put everything on the table and try and figure it out.

One last thing

I’ll say this again. It’s on you. Not on these kids to make large group meaningful, it’s on you.

Ever had a kid that asks way too many questions? So many questions that it is a distraction for the rest of the kids in the large group? Most of us have been to this place and it’s a tough place to be. For this series I want to highlight the conflict, the person, and some strategy to help you out.

The Conflict

The questions are good

You want kids to continue to ask questions

But there are too many questions

There is this tug between these three things. You want your kids to ask good questions. You want them to be engaged in the teaching and if they are asking questions then you know they are engaged. But sometimes kids get overzealous and feel like this is there time to ask anything and everything. You have to be able to balance these three thoughts in the Conflict.

The Person: The Riddler

This kind of kid comes in two forms but honestly, there are a ton of variations.

The kid who has 1,000 questions

The kid who has 1,000 stories

Now I’m joking obviously and grouping kids together in a specific niche.

For most of these kids they are starving for attention, especially species number dos. But again the balance of the conflict must remain in your mind at all times.

The Strategy:

So how in the world can you keep the balance of maintaining control of the room and also continue to encourage kids to ask questions? How can you figure out the balance to the conflict that the Riddler presents you?

First there are a few universal principles that you need to know and I will repeat them on every single blog of this topic.

You control the room

You are the large group leader. It falls on you to create, manage, and develop a welcoming environment that engages kids with spiritual truth. It is your responsibility to control the environment.

Relationship is key

If you don’t know the kid’s name that is asking the questions, well then you probably don’t have enough of a relationship with them to have a tough conversation with them. Build a relationship with the kids and be able to have a conversation because of your relationship with that child.

Know your timing

This is where most noobs get in trouble. I absolutely failed at this when I began. When I first started teaching large groups, kids would ask questions and I would take them. But I ran out of time, every time. The lesson wouldn’t get taught because I wasn’t responsible for the time that was given for the large group teaching. Know your timing and know if you have the time to take questions, discpline, and joke around with the kids and still be able to teach the lesson.

Specific strategies for this kind of difficult kid

Always take the first question-

It helps kids to know that you want to answer their questions. Always try and answer it to the best of your ability. And be honest. I’ve dove into some deeper theology before here and also been able to tell them that there isn’t necessarily a clear answer in scripture, and also said ,that I have no idea. Honesty is always the best policy.

Help to guide the questions to stay on subject-

Questions are so incredibly important for kids and if a kid can ask a question that will help another kid understand the lesson a bit more, what more could you ask for? Help by asking a few guiding questions. Is this question about forgiveness? Is this question about serving God? Is this question about our Bible Story? If not then can we talk about it after our teaching time? Help them to be able to make responsible decisions and be ready to determine for themselves (in time) whether that question is appropriate for right now.

Help them to make sure that they are asking God questions too-

One thing that is constant in my teaching is that I want them to know that interaction with God is tangible. Sometimes I do this to a fault. But I want kids to know that God wants to answer their questions even more than I do.

Tough Conversation-

It might be a time for tough conversations if this begins to be a pattern rather than a particular time. Always be kind but give them responsibility. Please don’t say that it makes Jesus sad that you have questions and interrupt the class. If you do this and I find out I will be praying mean things. Just kidding. Sorta.

Know that if you lose control it’s ok. Everyone does at some point. But evaluate what happened. Know that the only person that is responsible for the environment in the room is the one leading. Don’t blame the kids, for lack of environmental control. It’s on you.

Be diligent and work hard.
Build relationships with the kids.
Constantly continue to develop and get better.

How have you dealt with a kid that asks too many questions or has a million stories to tell? Any strategies you would add?

So I know you’ve been there. There’s a kid in your large group that most would describe as really energetic. But the people telling the truth would call this kid demonic Only kidding of course. But I think that we have all had a kid that is one of these three common difficult kids: The Riddler (asks too many questions), The Joker (distracting the audience), or a last one that we will call Robin (Sunday School answer kid). So the next few posts will be about these three types of kids and how you can begin to deal with them in an effective manner in your Large Group setting.

Thanks for the pic Nulka

Operator?!, originally uploaded by Dalla*.

So in this blog I’m going to let you into my wounded brain for just a second. Ever feel like you have no idea what you are doing?

Yeah that’s this guy. I started blogging long ago to just dump and evaluate what was going on in my life. This blog shifted about 2 years ago into more of a children’s ministry blog. That is my role and I look at people that have been in ministry for ages in a children’s role and I’m in awe of the content they have. For the most part I feel so inadequate. I feel like a child in the midst of so much awesome.

I feel like sometimes I just don’t contribute enough to the growth and development of Family Ministry and Children’s Ministry through this blog. It’s one of the main factors in re-assessing the purpose of this space. You have people like Kenny, Sam, Matt, Gina, Henry, Anthony, Jonathan, Amy, etc. who are just killing it and I’m just trying to soak it all in. So in my woundedness, I feel totally inadequate when coming to terms with the value that I add to the community, when these rockstars are knocking it out of the park.

But then yesterday happened. I have been solicited advice on numerous occasions before about parenting. I’ve never walked away from giving parenting advice with the idea that I helped in any way. But yesterday was different. I knew answers, I knew strategies, I knew resources. It was like I knew what I was talking about. I don’t think this father is going to be totally different but I felt for the first time that I gave meaningful parenting advice.

The part that makes this all so weird to me is this: I have zero children. I know very little about parenting except for what I have soaked up from people, blogs, and books. I don’t understand why people would seek me out for advice. It’s sort of my own insecurity about my abilities and gifts but these thoughts race through my mind at least twice a day.

But yesterday it seemed as if I gave some sound, beneficial advice to a father searching for some.

I say all of this because maybe you are out there like me and feel like you are completely incapable of succeeding in a particular arena because of experience, education, or emotional baggage. But don’t stop learning or trying. Allow God to work in and through you as you seek to perfect your craft. Allow God to be glorified not by your ability, but by your openness to surrender to Him. Look for ways to get better and ways to practice your craft.

But be open to God working in and through your life.

What is an area that you feel inadequate to help others in? How or what did you do to overcome it?

Time for the real crux of this formula. Remember the formula is here. Today we will talk about the R-Relationship.

Relationship to me is the most important factor in this entire equation, that we’ve talked about over the last few weeks. The depth of relationship that you have with people really increases your influence with them. It’s important to continually invest in people. When you come into a new organization, most people will give you this first piece of advice, “Build relationships, with people” and that’s true. You should continually look to build and deepen relationships with people in your organization. Insert this cliche here “People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care” and that pretty much sums it up. I know really corny post for such an important part but there are so many resources out there for connecting with people and building relationships.

Author’s Note

Now this formula is not for you to manipulate people. But I hope that you begin to look at the formula and see some areas that you can improve upon.

Ferrari 599 Hamann Gold, originally uploaded by Tex Mex (alexandre-besancon.com).

Have you ever attempted to quantify the value of your product, service or organization? Have you thought about what would life be like without “x” in their life? How can you expect people to buy-in to what you are repping if you don’t have the slightest idea of how valuable “x” is?

This idea of value is always interesting to me. It’s why I love marketing. Few people really understand the value that their product or service has in the lives of their “customers”. But a ton of people misappropriate the value that they hold in people’s lives. Most of the time feeling as if, the value is bigger than it’s real value.

But to help give you an appropriate measuring stick, Here is the breakdown that I use for value.

current benefit of “x”, perceived future benefit of “x”, number of alternatives or exclusivity on the market.

So V=CV(current value)+FV(future value)-a(alternatives)

Now generally people would include alternatives in the costs part of the overall formula. You most certainly can for sure, however, it is important to note that if people associate the value of your product with those that are similar, then it is something that needs to play into your value equation.

Current Value- Are you adding value to people presently? Are you continuing to promise future benefits but never give them anything for the here and now? People might be asking: When are we going to get moving, when are we going to start seeing some results?

Future Value- Is your product only living for the here and now? Are people limited with the amount of time that they feel like they will spend in your ministry or organization? Do people feel like there is zero future with “x”?

Alternatives-Don’t limit yourself here to only things that you can see as direct competition. For Example, Family Dinner has changed. It used to be that you would show news at around 5-6 timeframe, but now media has expanded it’s reach. So a family’s time or money is something that you should also consider when thinking about alternatives. In your ministry, what other opportunities could people pursue.

For value always remember this:

Vision casting isn’t the answer. Having a vision that you can cast is the answer. For most, it’s not the ability to cast vision that needs help. It’s the vision and value of the vision.

Think about the value of what you are offering to people and up the ante.

Poker chips, originally uploaded by Jam Adams.

I’m going to give you the formula first so you can drool over it, and then break it down later.

To determine the amount of buy-in for each individual you must consider:

Value of Product/service/organization/ministry(Relationship) – Cost = Amount of buy-in

or simplified:

V(R)-C=$$$

What do you think?