You’ve probably noticed if you have a teenager, that the conversations are fewer, less detailed, and sometimes feel it’s as forced as the last bit of toothpaste in the bottle. However, you remember the days that your kid, who now seems more like a martian, used to want to tell story after story about the caterpillar that wandered across the branch onto the tree trunk. 2 hours later, they’ve moved into creating some sort of elaborate talent show in which they are the only participant.

The conversations change. They are different. They feel weird.

But as you could see conversations with kids like a storm of information, drama, and intensity. They light up the dull of your night with extreme excitement, laughter, and some really interesting noises! But ultimately during and afterwards you are wondering how all that came from one kid at one time.

But everything looks different with your teen.

Yeah there’s darkness. And fury, maybe even evil. The stories are few and far between with your teenager. But don’t ever stop pushing forward. Because in the midst of the storm, the rainbow could burst through the darkness with a single moment of enlightenment. God pushing through the gray and bursting into a moment of epiphany.

I was talking with a dad today that was sharing a story of his son having a breakthrough in the middle of a breakdown. And he talked about the beauty and thanks for what Christ was doing in his son’s life. But it’s one moment in weeks, months, and years of prayerful conversations.

So as your preteens begin to look totally different than the fond memory you have of them in their own productions. Treasure the rainbow. They are rare, but they are so incredibly beautiful, and yet so short lived.

To me kids are like storms, consistent pressure with so much excitement, but there are few things like a breakthrough moment with a teen.

If you aren’t willing to weather the storm, you’ll miss the rainbow.

So for parents of preteens, just know that the storms will continue and it might look more dreary than ever, but you always must look for God’s promise in the midst of your preteen’s and teen’s stuff. Treasure those small, fleeting moments of bliss where they get it, know what they need to do and have a plan to move forward.

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I have a feeling that the Orange Conference, 2012 edition is going to be the best one yet. Here are some reasons why:

1. Jon Acuff is going to be there, you’ll laugh.
2. Craig Groeschel is gonna be there, you’ll want to get ripped.
3. Lanny will be there, you’ll have trouble keeping up.
4. Kara Powell will be there, you’ll be challenged.
5. Andy Stanley will be there, you’ll instantly be jealous of his communication skills and have an aha moment at the end of his talk.
6. Matt Mckee will be there, if you chat with him, your use of technology in your ministry will become more effective. Seriously. And you’ll see some footwear you’ve never seen before.
7. Some #kidmin, #ptmin and #stumin peeps will be there. You need more connections in ministry, it’s tough, make it happen.
8. They don’t make you wear Orange if you don’t want to, but you’ll feel left out.
9. The theme is Game Changers. OMG, I love that title.
10. Goodies, goodies, goodies galore. Not to mention all the new friends you’ll make.

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Kenny Conley busting a move from J.C. Thompson on Vimeo.

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Kenny has mad skills. Don’t play yo!

So part of the draw of the Orange Conference is the relationships that you have the opportunity to develop over the course of a few days. I can say that I can call some of my fellow bloggers, friends.

I’ve seen: Kenny Conley, Gina McClain, Matt Mckee, and Chad Swanzy. I still have yet to see: Jonathan Cliff, Sam Luce, and Jim Wideman (one of my heroes).

It’s always fun to see them and also so much fun to meet new friends that I have followed from afar. I really can’t believe how blessed that I am to be able to do what I do. I cannot believe that I can have conversations with these people and yet they have been so open to just chatting with me. If I can give you one piece of advice this week. Get some courage and just go chat with them or even me. You won’t regret it at all.

Get past the blogger title and you have some amazing people that are doing ministry and want to get better and help others get better as well. Without you continuing conversations, we would miss so much. We don’t have the corner on any market and desperately want people to ask questions and challenge thoughts. So if you are chillin upstairs at the Gwinnett (yeah I dropped the Arena/Center part cuz I’m dope like that) then gather some courage and chat. If you ain’t skeered, then we want to chat with you as well.

I know that iron sharpens iron and without authentic community we would definitely be swimming upstream. So do everyone a favor and be a part of the Orange conversation. I know I can’t wait for tomorrow and for the weeks and months that follow because it really is a different experience.

Sleep well and see you tomorrow

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Safety. Such a safe word . This word scares me. I never thought that this word would describe me. But when I got married something shifted inside of me. Ever since I’ve been married, I’ve wanted to provide something safe for my wife. I want her to know that I would do absolutely anything in this world to protect her. But I wonder if I’ve crossed over into the Safety Dance realm.

We can dance if we want to, We can leave your friends behind, ’Cause your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance, Well they’re no friends of mine
I say, we can go where we want to, A place where they will never find, And we can act like we come from out of this world, Leave the real one far behind
And we can dance

Now from what I understand about the song it was about being a pogo-er and pogo-ing in the club. Club ownders didn’t like it and they would kick out the pogo-ers and run them out of the club. First of all, if that’s true, that is a funny story. Secondly and more on topic, it’s pretty relevant to where I am right now. My wife and I are thinking about having children and I’ve got some things that I want to accomplish sometime before I die. I’m 24, I know this might be a weird thing to think about this young, but one thing I’m sure of is this, I’m not sure Safety is the legacy that I want to leave.

The safety dance song is more about reserving the ability to take chances and do what you can. It is safe to dance and I think that the once part of safety that I want to cultivate in my family is not to be safe in our circle, home, city, country, but instead feel the safety to take chances because of knowing that you are in an environment of love.

I know that safety is something that many parents want for their children. I wonder if that desire lines up with Christ? I remember very strongly this quote, about Aslan, from C.S. Lewis in the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

“‘Safe?’ said Mr. Beaver…’Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. but he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.’”

I want my family to be people known for following God, whether answering that call is safe or not. Here are some decisions that I want to make one day that will not be safe for my family.

• Go back to school for my Master’s Degree and train to do ministry at a higher level (this costs money, we don’t have any. My first degree was paid for by the school that I attended through scholarship)
• Write a book to young leaders. (You don’t make money writing books. You do spend a lot of time doing it though. Oh yeah, I’m not good at grammar)
• Have Children, raise them to follow God. (nuff said)
• Adopt a child. (yep)
• Take a desert trip where my wife and I can focus on hearing God’s voice moreso than vacation. (yes, sign me up today)
• See students live out their faith in High School that I taught as 3rd graders. (6th graders now)
• Give more than we gave the previous year, every year. (yikes)

I want my children to really grow and know that Jesus Christ is real and that our lives should not only reflect it but also be an experience of it. Can you do this? Is it possible to live an unsafe Christian life and yet still want safety and protection for my wife and future children(God willing)?

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Ok maybe not that Orange,

In order to reach the Next Generation I believe one strategy takes the cake. What is this strategy to reach the next generation? It’s being Orange.

It’s no secret, that I love everything associated with Orange the company, however the color is definitely not in my top 1,000 for Reason 1, Reason 2, and Reason 3.

But I truly believe that being Orange is something that is overwhelmingly important to reaching the next generation or Children, Preteens, Students and Parents.

Why? 3 reasons.

Parents become more of a focus

Ever since attending my first Orange Conference and hearing Reggie Joiner speak, I became convinced. You can hear about that experience here. Basically you need to know that having parents bought into your ministry is essential to multiplied impact in the students that you minister to.

If Parents are connected to your teaching, events, and resources, they will be repeating what the students are hearing in small group, large group, and campus ministry. That kind of focus will cause our students to think about the reason for such a focused effort.

Curriculum

One of the big reasons why I’m Orange is the curriculum that they produce. It’s so much more than a one experience type of curriculum (i.e. large group only or small group only curriculum). It gives you resources to give to parents for use outside of the church building (which is where we really want our students in our ministry living out their faith).

The fact that they put a ton of time into resources such as orangeparents.org, orangeleaders.com, and The Orange Conference overflow into their curriculum that they produce for Pre-school {First Look} (which Brookwood uses), Children {252 Basics} (which Brookwood uses) and Students{XP3} (which we don’t use because of the ridiculous deal we got on a curriculum and our current staffing).

Their experiences are awesome and their in-week resources are great for the family. Seriously you need to check out their stuff.

The People

The people that work for Orange are over the top awesome. Seriously, their team is not just full of producers (people that flat get stuff done) but also people that are innovative and looking to continue to improve and update what is going on in ministry to the next generation.

Reggie Joiner, Matt Mckee, Bre Hallberg, and Betsy Wright are just a few of the crazy awesome peeps that are a part of the Orange Team. They are top notch.

Needless to say you need to know where I stand. I believe that we must work with the family in order to more effectively reach the next generation with the Gospel of Christ.

Are you with me?

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She talked about how church people sometimes shy away from conflict for the wrong reasons like fear or shame instead of engaging the issues to find the heart of the matter. I don’t remember if she said this in her breakout or in her main session but she said this:

In order to do conflict well you have to give people permission to do it poorly.

Are you allowing those that you lead to participate in conflict? Are you immediately solving the conflict? In order to be effective at anything we need practice but are we allowing them to practice the difficult things.

I think that conflict management is one biblical principle that I see handled better at corporations rather than churches, why?

1. We define cowards as peacemakers – Matt. 18 teaches us about conflict resolution. Verses 15-17 look very different than the definition that we give to peacemakers. Peacemakers manage conflict and don’t avoid it.
2. Conflict more clearly defines our outlook on God – we can see our trust in Jesus Christ’s atoning sacrifice by the way that we handle conflict. Do you really feel as though God accepts you and there is no condemnation in those who love Christ? If so you will handle conflict very differently than those who don’t
3. Conflict is hard - it’s easier to do easy things. It’s hard to do hard things. So avoid hard things. Unfortunately this is how we approach the subject of conflict.

Nancy knocked this session out of the park. She recommended the Five Dysfunctions of a team and Death by Meeting as two books that you need to have read if you lead meetings or people or both

If you want a taste of the Orange Experience dont’ forget the Orange Tour it’s FREE! And if you want the whole enchilada including killer breakouts like the one above don’t miss out on the Orange Conference. Read about the special in the pic below. You only have til Feb. 17th!!!

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I will never forget the first time I heard Reggie Joiner speak. Honestly, the only thing that I knew about Mr. Joiner was that he was the founder of the then ReThink group now Orange that created the Orange Conference. That was enough for me. But when I hear Reggie speak about the family, I always come away challenged.

2008 was the first Orange experience for me. I remember so clearly being pumped about just going to a conference. I had never been to a church leaders conference. I was only 22 years old and was literally overwhelmed by what God was allowing me to be a part of not only at Brookwood, but getting to hear from some people that had been doing ministry for decades and I was soaking like a fresh sponge.

Reggie talked about influence and how parents see the church as a primary influencer on the spiritual development of children. Yep, I’m following you Mr. Joiner. Then he started to layout the differences in hours that parents had versus the church. My mouth dropped. I literally couldn’t remember anything else about the breakout.

My mind went into a tailspin. Why am I even in ministry? Did I misappropriate the influence that we could have on students and children? What am I going to do with all this one incredible piece of information?

You see the thing about Reggie when he speaks is that you never worry about what he is thinking. He wants you to get that we have to partner with parents in order to maximize our impact.

Nothing has changed my thoughts about ministry more than this one fact on influence from Reggie Joiner. I talk to parents differently with a boldness and courage because of the brevity of the role that they play. I am honestly more humbled by a killer parent than a main session speaker because of this one fact.

Everything inside of me knows that Parents have an incredible impact on their kids, and most of that knowledge has been gained because of listening, reading and engaging with Reggie Joiner’s content.

If for no other reason to just understand more about the role that parents have in the spiritual development of their children, you should go to Orange. But if you need convincing then take it from a young, long way to go, pie in the sky, leader, it’s life changing for you and those you minister to.

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I love to grill. Absolutely love it. If you grill and add any kind of marinade or sauce, then you know the power of Zest. It’s used in baked items, marinades, sauces and even some firewater

The cool thing to me is how such a small portion of the entire thing is such an incredible source of taste and aroma. Seriously, your dishes change when you add some zest.

Well I’m going to tell you about something that might be the zest that you need in your ministry. We all need that extra pick me up, encouragement, challenge or conversation that propels us to the next level. This opportunity could be it for you.

This week around the children’s/students/preteen blogging community you will see an array of posts about something we like to call Orange Week. It’s a way for us to promote something that we all believe can make a huge difference in your life or ministry and that’s The Orange Conference. It’s a 3 day event that could change the way you do ministry, literally.

But even before the Orange Conference, Orange is hosting an Orange Tour Online and it’s FREE!! It happens on Feb. 15th and it’s a way to add a boost of Orange flavor to your life. This FREE event will answer questions that you have about the Orange strategy. Did I mention it’s FREE.

I am Orange for so many reasons. But the best reason is because of my makeup. My greatest ministry is my family. I am more accountable to them for my actions than anyone else in my life. I believe that is why the family is such an important area of focus for ministry.

This week you will see some personal highlights from the Orange Conference and I hope to hear some from you as well. Honestly, I think you should clear out your schedule to go. I really believe that the philosophy itself is enough reason to go to this conference.

But here are a few others in no particular order.

1. Incredible Speakers & Artists
2. Awesome Workshops
3. Conversations that you might not have anywhere else

Seriously, you need to come. I will be pitching hard this week to try and sell you on it. If you are on the fence then I challenge you to show up everyday this week to hear from someone who has experienced Orange and the impact it is making on them years (2 to be exact) later.

If you are already convinced then click here to register for the Orange Conference. The Early-Bird rate expires February 17th, so save some cash and sign up today.

Are you Orange? Why?

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As our Student Ministry team is looking forward at the 2011 year, there are a ton of challenges in student ministry that we are ready to tackle. I’ve talked about some of the things I’m looking forward to already, but there are so many more. Our Student Team is ready to tackle some big things. Here are just a few of the challenges we look to tackle this year:

• Launch our revamped, better than ever small group program for Student Ministry
• Formalize our Volunteer Assimilation and Placement process
• Refine the meeting process. More creative and more productive (this will be fun!)
• Develop and implement a Student Leadership team
• Work in more fun for our Student Team, Godzilla was a start
• Define and package vision, mission, and values of Student Ministry.
• Integrate some new faces into our Student Team.
• Polish our Production Process
• Brainstorm missional opportunities for our students locally, nationally, and globally
• Communicate and push our students to share their experience in new and innovative ways

Needless to say my brain is completely full of ideas. I’m so pumped for this year. It will be the greatest year of ministry that I’ve ever been a part of in my life. I’m excited about so many things and also praying through some huge calls we will have to make.

It’s going to be big.

What’s on your list to accomplish in 2011?

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So today I found out that Americans spent $45 Billion on shopping this past weekend. I know from studying for Advent Conspiracy, that most people in the know think that it would take $10 Billion to give clean water to everyone in the world.

22% of what was spent this weekend on retail would have fixed the water problem in the world

22% of 1 Weekend

It’s time to step up our game. I don’t kid myself by believing that I know enough people to change the world. But I do know the Savior of the World and He knows some peeps. So with Christ leading the charge in your heart I’m asking you to send people to Carlos’ post on Blue Friday. It’s time we put our money where we say our heart is. It’s time to give a present that will mean life change to villages, kids, and even countries.

For Advent we are teaming up with Water of Life to attempt to build a well in Africa solely from donations from our Students at Brookwood. It’s time you contribute. Be a part of a solution to one of the world’s biggest issues.

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