You’ve probably noticed if you have a teenager, that the conversations are fewer, less detailed, and sometimes feel it’s as forced as the last bit of toothpaste in the bottle. However, you remember the days that your kid, who now seems more like a martian, used to want to tell story after story about the caterpillar that wandered across the branch onto the tree trunk. 2 hours later, they’ve moved into creating some sort of elaborate talent show in which they are the only participant.

The conversations change. They are different. They feel weird.

But as you could see conversations with kids like a storm of information, drama, and intensity. They light up the dull of your night with extreme excitement, laughter, and some really interesting noises! But ultimately during and afterwards you are wondering how all that came from one kid at one time.

But everything looks different with your teen.

Yeah there’s darkness. And fury, maybe even evil. The stories are few and far between with your teenager. But don’t ever stop pushing forward. Because in the midst of the storm, the rainbow could burst through the darkness with a single moment of enlightenment. God pushing through the gray and bursting into a moment of epiphany.

I was talking with a dad today that was sharing a story of his son having a breakthrough in the middle of a breakdown. And he talked about the beauty and thanks for what Christ was doing in his son’s life. But it’s one moment in weeks, months, and years of prayerful conversations.

So as your preteens begin to look totally different than the fond memory you have of them in their own productions. Treasure the rainbow. They are rare, but they are so incredibly beautiful, and yet so short lived.

To me kids are like storms, consistent pressure with so much excitement, but there are few things like a breakthrough moment with a teen.

If you aren’t willing to weather the storm, you’ll miss the rainbow.

So for parents of preteens, just know that the storms will continue and it might look more dreary than ever, but you always must look for God’s promise in the midst of your preteen’s and teen’s stuff. Treasure those small, fleeting moments of bliss where they get it, know what they need to do and have a plan to move forward.

Advertise here with Beacon Ads

Funny take on being the brother of Jesus. What do you think would be the weirdest part about being the brother of Jesus?

Advertise here with Beacon Ads

We found out a few weeks ago that we were going to be having a boy sometime around May 25th of this year. We are so stinkin pumped about it!! His name is Cannon Thompson, haven’t decided on a middle name yet. Maybe Joseph or Andrew. He’s definitely a blast and full of energy already.

God is already telling an interesting story through him as well. I can’t wait to share some of that story with you later.

Wanted you guys to know that I didn’t fall off a cliff while meditating, just been super busy.

Any advice for a dad-to-be? And what about the middle name, anything have a ring to it?

Advertise here with Beacon Ads

…then there was a party.

We used this video to help us tell the Christmas story to our Preteens. It was a huge hit. Great way to start some conversations about what it would have been like to have been there.

What are some things that you did to make Christmas special for your preteen ministry?

Advertise here with Beacon Ads

Here’s a fun video we did for Christmas. Our Preteen Ministry is gonna love this. Fun take on more fictional characters. Use this in your environment for a fun video.

You got any videos that you are using for Christmas?

Advertise here with Beacon Ads

If you have a tween, then you know that they love to ask questions and respond to questions. Here are some musts for the questions that I ask to all of our 10-12 year old students. I try to make sure that we ask these three types of questions every single week in our preteen ministry.

Here we go: 

Open Ended Questions

Tweens love to be cared for and we want them to know that we care. You don’t want to stall out a conversation from the startup though. Try to think about the way that you ask a tween the question you usually ask.

Instead of:

Did you have a good weekend?

you should ask:

How was your weekend?

A small shift in the way that you ask questions could open up the doors to a lot of conversation between the tween that you interact with and yourself.

A second type of question that I try to ask every weekend.

Experiential Questions

Questions that ask for the experience of a tween in your student ministry will let them know that the lives that they live matter. Here are a few that I ask every weekend:

• What did you do yesterday?
• What are some things that stuck out about your school week this week?
• What video games did you play this week? (this could cause your conversation to last awhile )

Follow Up Questions

These are the key to ministry for me. They show students that you are listening to them and that you thought about them during the week. I usually try to keep a notebook of things that our tweens said that stuck out to me. Here are a few that I think about often.

• My dad doesn’t play with me when he gets home from work. It makes me upset and sometimes angry. (Parents are divorced)
• I’m trying out for this soccer team and I’m super nervous.
• My 4 month old adopted sister is having open heart surgery.

pic from Zitaaa

Advertise here with Beacon Ads

Here we go.

Integrity

Coach Pastner is a different mold of basketball coach. According to this article from the USA Today, he abstains from alcochol, soda, and doesn’t use profanity and rarely raises his voice. If he does raise his voice, it’s met with a quick apology.

“If you need to be screamed at, you probably shouldn’t come to Memphis,” Pastner says.

Creativity

Listen coaching can become a routine I imagine, just like ministry, if you let it. Pastner has done two pretty out of the box type things just this year.

First he hired one of the best trainers in the history of the world, not just currently. Here’s a piece about him, Hell’s Trainer. He wears a mask and has trained Blake Griffin. Yeah, the….Blake Griffin. But the creativity just begins there. His title? Life Changer. It’s in the media guide. That’s just fun.

Second, he hired an NBA player as an assistant during the lockout. He took a huge risk but it seems to be paying off as the Players and Owners can’t come to an agreement. Screams genius to me

Work Ethic

The guy is just relentless. He is a monster on the phone. In fact, I would email everyone of our sports programs at the University of Memphis after the year to encourage the coaches. It seems to be a tough gig. I’ve only received an email back once, from Larry Porter. Josh Pastner called my phone number listed in my signature and personally thanked me for the encouraging email. Seriously. Top 10 Basketball program and called to thank me for an email.

The guy is a beast. He was known as a phenom as a student at Arizona. He was on the team but really wanted to coach, so he would coach during practices. He also won an AAU championship as a high school student, coaching the likes of Emeka Okafor, T.J. Ford, and Daniel Gibson.

Here are some more facts about his work ethic

• Josh knew he wanted to be a coach since he was in the 5th grade.
• By the age of 13 he was publishing the Josh Pastner Scouting Report of local high school talent in the Houston area.
• At the age of 16, the Houston Hoops AAU squad was turned over to Pastner by his father, his first job as a head coach.
• After winning the NCAA title, as a walk on at the University of Arizona, Pastner was able to finish his degree in only two and a half years, taking as many as 33 units per semester.
• He earned his bachelor’s degree in Family Studies from Arizona in December 1998. He finished his master’s in Teaching and Teacher Education in December 1999 before beginning work on his doctorate and starting his coaching career in 2000 as a graduate-assistant under Lute Olson at Arizona.

Some people said the Memphis gig wasn’t worth it, because you would be following Coach John Calipari. It looks like we got someone worth keeping around.

Go Tigers Go!! 2012 Memphis Tigers Basketball is starting and we are gonna be good.

Note: If you don’t like Basketball I’ll keep these posts to a minimum, but man are we gonna be good

Advertise here with Beacon Ads

This is a hilarious video that our very own Chris Brank shot and Taylor Wooten who is a volunteer that leads worship with Switch is the star. Incredible talent in both of these two. I’m happy that our paths have crossed for sure!!

I might think about using this video when talking about relationships or even an illustration on getting to know people.

How great is this?

Advertise here with Beacon Ads

Jared, high school pastor, gave a great example of something we experienced on staff retreat. We were at a fire pit and Chris, worship and production, was building a fire. He piled a bunch of leaves, pine needles, and grass on top of the wood that was gathered. When it was lit, immediately it was huge. It was crazy huge.  But it died pretty quickly.

Jared likened it to our large groups services. They are awesome. In fact they will produce a large fire in our students, but we don’t think that it will be one that lasts.

Then he talked about Chris was creating some kindling (ask Jared to say that word for you ) underneath the firewood. Eventually after working and blowing and stirring the wood caught fire and lasted for awhile. In fact, we even joked about taking guesses on how long it would last.

Chris posing near his creation

Jared went on to explain for our students, small groups provide the kindling needed for fire to last. A fire that burns longer than what our services can provide. Not only that, but our services will also be better because of the fire in small groups.

It was a great example and provided a reminder to our leaders that we aren’t building a student ministry, we are building students. We don’t wants fans of Jesus, we want disciples of Jesus. That takes a lot more work and time than creating an explosive service.

Great night and we’re excited about what’s coming at BSM!!

What do you think about the fire illustration and large group versus small group?

Advertise here with Beacon Ads

Here is the summary of the event. We have host homes sign up and receive a packet of materials ($20) for a programmed sleepover at their home. We host the event on Facebook and the activities are competitions between host homes. The event ends with all of the homes gathering on Sunday morning to see who won and check out everything that the other groups did the night before.

Every hour we upload a video to the event page with a new activity. The videos looked like this:

Then the homes would have one hour to complete the activity. Some of the activities included:

• Trade-up game starting with a paperclip
• ABC Scavenger hunt
• Funniest Picture Competition
• Tower Build
• Movie to end it for the night.

Advertise here with Beacon Ads