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Giving advice on a subject you know nothing about

June 7, 2010 in Communication, Lead 4

Operator?!, originally uploaded by Dalla*.

So in this blog I’m going to let you into my wounded brain for just a second. Ever feel like you have no idea what you are doing?

Yeah that’s this guy. I started blogging long ago to just dump and evaluate what was going on in my life. This blog shifted about 2 years ago into more of a children’s ministry blog. That is my role and I look at people that have been in ministry for ages in a children’s role and I’m in awe of the content they have. For the most part I feel so inadequate. I feel like a child in the midst of so much awesome.

I feel like sometimes I just don’t contribute enough to the growth and development of Family Ministry and Children’s Ministry through this blog. It’s one of the main factors in re-assessing the purpose of this space. You have people like Kenny, Sam, Matt, Gina, Henry, Anthony, Jonathan, Amy, etc. who are just killing it and I’m just trying to soak it all in. So in my woundedness, I feel totally inadequate when coming to terms with the value that I add to the community, when these rockstars are knocking it out of the park.

But then yesterday happened. I have been solicited advice on numerous occasions before about parenting. I’ve never walked away from giving parenting advice with the idea that I helped in any way. But yesterday was different. I knew answers, I knew strategies, I knew resources. It was like I knew what I was talking about. I don’t think this father is going to be totally different but I felt for the first time that I gave meaningful parenting advice.

The part that makes this all so weird to me is this: I have zero children. I know very little about parenting except for what I have soaked up from people, blogs, and books. I don’t understand why people would seek me out for advice. It’s sort of my own insecurity about my abilities and gifts but these thoughts race through my mind at least twice a day.

But yesterday it seemed as if I gave some sound, beneficial advice to a father searching for some.

I say all of this because maybe you are out there like me and feel like you are completely incapable of succeeding in a particular arena because of experience, education, or emotional baggage. But don’t stop learning or trying. Allow God to work in and through you as you seek to perfect your craft. Allow God to be glorified not by your ability, but by your openness to surrender to Him. Look for ways to get better and ways to practice your craft.

But be open to God working in and through your life.

What is an area that you feel inadequate to help others in? How or what did you do to overcome it?

The Coaching Legend John Wooden passed away yesterday

June 4, 2010 in Lead, Resources 0

Few people have the kind of resume in their respective industry like John Wooden, the long ago UCLA Bruins head coach. 10 NCAA Championships, Longest winning streak in NCAA Basketball History, 7 straight national titles. But more important than his basketball success was his faith. Here’s a quote about his view of priorities between basketball and faith:

“I have always tried to make it clear that basketball is not the ultimate. It is of small importance in comparison to the total life we live. There is only one kind of life that truly wins, and that is the one that places faith in the hands of the Savior.”

John Wooden is one of my favorite people to read about for so many reasons: Basketball prowess, incredible active life of faith, poured into young people, His incredible relationship with his wife, incredible balance between excellence in industry and excellence at home, etc. Since his wife Nellie passed away, on the 21st of every month he visits her grave and writes her a love letter and puts it into an envelope that he adds to the stack on the pillow that his wife slept on while they were married. John Wooden is someone that I look up to from afar and I read everything that involves him. The world lost a great one yesterday, but he is in a much, much happier place now.

So today I posted his pyramid of success and I will leave you with this:

John Wooden’s Seven Point Creed, given to him by his father Joshua upon his graduation from grammar school:

* Be true to yourself.
* Make each day your masterpiece.
* Help others.
* Drink deeply from good books, especially the Bible.
* Make friendship a fine art.
* Build a shelter against a rainy day.
* Pray for guidance and give thanks for your blessings every day.

Power and Problem of Focus

June 3, 2010 in Lead 0

Have you ever tried to start something from scratch. Like completely from scratch. You’ve got big plans and dreams and things that you just can’t wait to be in the middle of the process. One problem. You are stuck at the beginning. I have an entrepreneurial spirit in my heart. I love starting new things. But I am in the middle of a project, very large project, that I am just having trouble focusing on where to start.

How in the world do you focus, when you aren’t sure what to focus on? Any help out there….

Positive Thinking

June 1, 2010 in Lead 0

Positive Thinking, originally uploaded by michaeljosh.

So I’ve never been a positive thinking guy. And what I mean by that is simply this:

I never imagined that your life could really be affected by the attitude that you have. It seemed like a bunch of emotional mumbo jumbo to get you through some rough stuff. I thought that the people that needed to hear think positive, had trouble facing reality. I know, I am still naive in so many ways. But over the last week, I really have been thinking about this whole idea of positive thinking.

A couple things that I’ve picked up along the way.

Every day may not be good, but there’s something good in every day. ~Author Unknown

Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.
~Francesca Reigler

And this nice piece of speak from the Mayo Clinic:

Researchers continue to explore the effects of positive thinking and optimism on health. Health benefits that positive thinking may provide include:

* Increased life span
* Lower rates of depression
* Lower levels of distress
* Greater resistance to the common cold
* Better psychological and physical well-being
* Reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease
* Better coping skills during hardships and times of stress

It’s unclear why people who engage in positive thinking experience these health benefits. One theory is that having a positive outlook enables you to cope better with stressful situations, which reduces the harmful health effects of stress on your body. It’s also thought that positive and optimistic people live healthier lifestyles — they get more physical activity, follow a healthier diet, and have reduced rates of smoking and alcohol consumption.

So as I was on a giant ship cruising through the Bahamas I started to work on my positive attitude. (I know, what a great place to start!)

And the distaste that I had been having in a few certain projects at work, began to turn themselves around this week, even though there are a few extra bumps in the road this week. I think most of that change has to do with an attitude adjustment.

Maybe it’s time for you to have one too.

Love Lock Down

May 19, 2010 in Family Ministry, Lead, Resources 2

Tonight I’m speaking at Varsity, the high school ministry here at Brookwood. I’m teaching on a series called Flirt by Room 1228. Great resource for student ministry stuff.

This passage has been stuck in my mind.

“As we talked about in our last two sessions, Jesus had been crucified and buried. Hope, air, and opportunity had been sucked out of the atmosphere. Now the disciples were huddled under lock and key because they had their love locked down Kanye West-style. Then all of a sudden, Jesus appeared by walking through a wall and surprising His disciples, and then He said, “Peace be with you.” Once again, as He had done in other appearances, Jesus turned desperation into hope and sorrow into joy. Most of all, He turned fear into peace.”

Man what a powerful story. The disciples are locked in a room because of fear after Christ had died. The fear of being crucified, made fun of, and probably some of them felt as if “Did I waste a lot of my life following this man?”

But in the middle of that locked room. Jesus appears and says what he said earlier in John’s book. “Peace be with You”. So in your life today. There might be some areas that are completely locked down for fear or doubt or maybe even they are painful. But allow God to enter into those locked down areas.

Let Jesus Unlock your Love Lock Down today.

Fill er up

May 10, 2010 in Lead, Life 0

Tea Cup, originally uploaded by *saxon*.

As I was watching the Marriage Ref, one of my new favorite shows, the other day, I discovered an interesting fact. It generally takes about 27 minutes for coffee to go bad. Now 30 minutes after it’s brewed sometimes it’s still ok. But, I think that we can all agree that coffee is best when it’s fresh.

A lot of times people become like old coffee. Instead of being filled with the Spirit of God, they soak up in all their boiling hot, rancid, mess of life and allow it to continue to churn and churn instead of releasing the pain and hurt and sin and ugliness and being filled with the Spirit of God.

So today get rid of that old, terrible, nasty, rancid, horrid, stuff in your life and find healing. Then be filled with the Spirit of God. Draw near to Him. Be filled.

And smell and taste the fresh filling of God.

Heart Tenderizers

May 4, 2010 in Lead, Resources 0

Today as Mike Hepola our Family Pastor is leading us through Life Hurts, God Heals as a staff. A question stood out to me.

Is my heart tender or tough?

I love to grill. In fact, I am really really passionate about it and also pretty good at it. I have two dishes that I just love to make. Caribbean Jerk wings and Chilean Adobo Chicken. I am a Marinate the meat guy. I use rubs and spices and bastes and mops and sauces as well, but I always love the meat that is marinated the best.

The Adobo chicken that I make is incredibly simple, but full of flavor. It takes about 6 hours of marinade. Lime juice, Orange juice, the zest of both fruits, the spices, and also some secret spicy sauce are the flavors that are present in this crazy tasty dish.

It’s ridiculous the way the chicken is tenderized, filled with flavor and juice. It becomes incredibly different than the original boring piece of chicken.

I think that God desires for our hearts to be pliable and full of life. In fact this verse talks about that very thing.

“Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.” Ezekiel 36:26 (NASB)

So be intentional about putting heart tenderizers in your life. Scripture, books, movies, music, and people that all tenderize your heart. That move your heart from tough to tender. From bland to full of passion and zest.

What are mine?
Hardball – the movie. Full of foul language from kids. Incredible message of being present in a kid’s life. I’ve watched this movie so many times and I have cried every single time that I watch it.

300- the movie. Fight for your country. Sacrifice for something that you believe in. Passing on a legacy

Roll of Thunder Hear my Cry – book about racism in the south. Written in a southern dialect and incredibly emotional. Story of an African American family in Mississippi, in the middle of the Great Depression. I’ve read this book about 7 times starting when I was in middle school.
Always had a place for me in my heart.

My Story – Da Truth. is very close to my testimony….except for the rapping part :)

These are just a few of mine. Make a list of things that keep your heart tender. Work them into your life on a more regular basis.

What are some of your heart tenderizers?

Plan B Review

May 3, 2010 in Lead, Resources 0

PlanB Promo from Cross Point Church on Vimeo.

planbbookcoverPlan B by Pete Wilson is a book that I recently picked up to read as a part of booksneeze.com blog for books. I picked this book up, because I’m a huge Pete Wilson fan. He is the pastor of Crosspoint Church in Nashville, TN. He writes an awesome blog.
This book is one of the books that I had always thought about writing. I don’t have enough life experience for it to be really effective though. So I am so excited that you have a chance to pick this book up. Summary is easy. Pete says it on page 1,

“Do you remember the day you discovered your life wasn’t going to turn out quite the way you thought?”

Whether it be tragedy, circumstance, failure, or disappointment, sooner or later life takes a drastic turn from our Plan A. Pete desires to offer genuine, honest encouragement and doesn’t take the normal route of traditional Christians might when explaining real life.

I was continually impressed with how cordial Pete was in giving heartfelt encouragement to readers, who if they are in the middle of a Plan B situation, would certainly need. Discussion questions in the back were a huge asset for me to digest content and begin to ask myself tough questions. Really, really hope to see this in Small Group/Devotion format. This book combined with real talk of a person’s most intimate stories could bring small groups, families, and churches so much closer together.

One criticism from my point of view. Wish he would have fleshed out the Bible Stories a little more, but I’m a geek. I really would have loved to been more involved in the stories of those characters as he relates their Plan B’s to ours.

Awesome book and a great gift for someone whom is fighting thru their Plan B. I’m praying that God rocks some people with this book and that the church can face life in a new, exciting, supportive way.

You can find out more about Plan B, here at planbbook.com

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com <http://BookSneeze.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Organizational Buy-In: Relationship

April 26, 2010 in Communication, Lead 0

handshake

Time for the real crux of this formula. Remember the formula is here. Today we will talk about the R-Relationship.

Relationship to me is the most important factor in this entire equation, that we’ve talked about over the last few weeks. The depth of relationship that you have with people really increases your influence with them. It’s important to continually invest in people. When you come into a new organization, most people will give you this first piece of advice, “Build relationships, with people” and that’s true. You should continually look to build and deepen relationships with people in your organization. Insert this cliche here “People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care” and that pretty much sums it up. I know really corny post for such an important part but there are so many resources out there for connecting with people and building relationships.

Author’s Note

Now this formula is not for you to manipulate people. But I hope that you begin to look at the formula and see some areas that you can improve upon.

Organizational Buy-In: Value

April 12, 2010 in Communication, Lead 0

Have you ever attempted to quantify the value of your product, service or organization? Have you thought about what would life be like without “x” in their life? How can you expect people to buy-in to what you are repping if you don’t have the slightest idea of how valuable “x” is?

This idea of value is always interesting to me. It’s why I love marketing. Few people really understand the value that their product or service has in the lives of their “customers”. But a ton of people misappropriate the value that they hold in people’s lives. Most of the time feeling as if, the value is bigger than it’s real value.

But to help give you an appropriate measuring stick, Here is the breakdown that I use for value.

current benefit of “x”, perceived future benefit of “x”, number of alternatives or exclusivity on the market.

So V=CV(current value)+FV(future value)-a(alternatives)

Now generally people would include alternatives in the costs part of the overall formula. You most certainly can for sure, however, it is important to note that if people associate the value of your product with those that are similar, then it is something that needs to play into your value equation.

Current Value- Are you adding value to people presently? Are you continuing to promise future benefits but never give them anything for the here and now? People might be asking: When are we going to get moving, when are we going to start seeing some results?

Future Value- Is your product only living for the here and now? Are people limited with the amount of time that they feel like they will spend in your ministry or organization? Do people feel like there is zero future with “x”?

Alternatives-Don’t limit yourself here to only things that you can see as direct competition. For Example, Family Dinner has changed. It used to be that you would show news at around 5-6 timeframe, but now media has expanded it’s reach. So a family’s time or money is something that you should also consider when thinking about alternatives. In your ministry, what other opportunities could people pursue.

For value always remember this:

Vision casting isn’t the answer. Having a vision that you can cast is the answer. For most, it’s not the ability to cast vision that needs help. It’s the vision and value of the vision.

Think about the value of what you are offering to people and up the ante.

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